I went into Saxby’s this morning for a simple cup of coffee. Only there was a special event happening for their 5th anniversary. Living Beyond Breast Cancer whose offices are next door was getting 5% of all profits for the day and giving out literature and goodies to all customers. A very nice couple were sitting amidst the pile of pens, hand sanitizers, pamphlets, pink (0f course!) wrist bands, and other stuff waiting for people to come over.
People pleaser that I am, I ambled over after I got my decaffeinated skinny vanilla latte (OK, not so-simple-cup of coffee) and spoke to them. We specifically talked about being cancer survivors, Yoga on the Steps at the Art Museum on May 19, Living Beyond Breast Cancer, and Dr. Marisa Weiss, my radiologist at Lankenau Hospital.
Dr. Marisa Weiss was instrumental is starting Living Beyond Breast Cancer which empowers all women affected with breast cancer to live as long as possible with the best quality of life.
I went back to my car wondering if it was a good or bad thing that breast cancer pops up everywhere, even with my morning coffee.
Today I had my first mammogram at Jefferson Honickman Breast Imaging Center since I had a lumpectomy and radiation after they found breast cancer at my last annual mammogram on May 25. As I wrote in my last post, I was very nervous. Of course, I was always nervous before a mammogram since there was always a chance that they would find something. And a few times, it was necessary for extra pictures to be taken and even ultrasounds to be done.
Once, I remember, I was the last person to leave. I waited the longest and had seen the image where there was a white mass the size of a nickle. I had several go-backs to redo the images (before digital imaging) and had an ultrasound. I was really scared because I saw the mass myself and knew it was huge!. Turns out it was squished calcification and was really nothing when viewed the other way!
Today, I also was the last woman standing. I had several go-backs and an ultrasound. they were nice enough to come tell me that I was waiting because they only had one technician doing the ultrasound. Dr. Tara Eisenberg, the same radiologist as last year, read the results this year too. She called Dr. Sataloff for her reports from the surgery to be sure there were clean margins because she saw “things” and wanted to be sure it was scar tissue and not any problems. She expects it is only scar tissue and wants me back in 6 months to check the right breast again just to be sure that it is scar tissue. This will be the new base line.
This is my new normal.
Since returning from my trip, I made my appointments for the doctors I have to see. I saw Dr. David Mintzer who is my medical oncologist. That’s a sentence I never wanted to say! Who wants a medical oncologist? I am taking Arimidex and will be on it for 5 years. Problem is it causes tremendous joint discomfort and pain. It is hard to move in the mornings and getting harder to move all day. but statistically it keeps the cancer away, so I am taking it for as long as they tell me.
I also see my surgeon Dr. Dahlia Sataloff in May after my birthday party on May 8. But the scariest appointment I made is for the mammogram on April 11. In regular times, it was a scary deal to get a mammogram, given that 1 in 7 women have breast cancer, but now, after my experience last May, I am dreading this mammogram. How do I know? I wake up at 4 AM worrying! Sometimes, I am direct and worry about the mammogram itself and sometimes I am worrying about other things first. It takes a while until I come around to the mammogram and worrying that maybe they’ll find something wrong again. Maybe this, and maybe that… it can drive a person crazy. I try to calm my monkey mind. I know I will deal with whatever they find. I know the annual mammogram will ensure that it will be small, early, treatable and something I can live with.
But I hope that they find nothing and I can get a clean bill of health this time.
If you are due for a mammogram, please make your appointment and get it done. Putting it off does no good.
I just got back from a terrific 6+ week travel/vacation to South America and Antarctica. How wonderful it was to focus on nature- seeing new and exciting sites, meeting people from all over the world, experiencing things new everyday, learning about flora, fauna and history, culture and life style, getting out of my comfort zone and living in the moment. It was an adventure everyday!
We saw mountains- the Andes in Chile and Peru! We saw deserts in northern Peru and the Atacama in Chile. We saw beautiful scenery in Chiloe, Chile and the Sacred Valley in Peru. We saw magic in Machu Picchu, Peru. We lolled on beaches in Punta del Estes, Uruguay and Mancora, Peru at the beginning and end of our trip- perfect bookends for this long vacation.
And the crowing glory of our trip was the 10 day cruise to Antarctica where we took zodiacs out to the great White Continent to visit the penguins, seals and whales who inhabit it. We visited them, learning about where they live, observing the beauty and stillness of ice, sculpted by nature.
It was a pleasure to get away from doctors, treatments, and appointments- from the past and future and just be in the moment! To enjoy each day which was new, filled with new adventures- new places to go, new people to met and often, new places to stay. We stayed in incredible hotels in some awesome places. I am already dreaming about going back- once is not enough to visit Chiloe, Chile, for example. Refugia is so special. It must be visited again! Same for DCO Suites in Macora, Peru or tierra atacama in the Atacama Desert in Chile. The places and the hotel stays were exceptional!! I felt so relaxed and in tune with the places and times there.
Not that cancer doesn’t always come with me. It does. I am always aware. I take a pill every day to keep the cancer away!! I notice the different texture of the right breast. I notice the ache and pull of the muscle under my arm from the scar from the lymph nodes and the still discolored skin, but getting paler and less noticeable. But being away made such a difference and gave me such a break from the whole cancer experience- diagnosis- biopsy, surgery, radiation treatment. I did not see or think about doctors for over 6 weeks.
Now that I am back, I have to schedule my first mammogram since surgery for April and then see the surgeon, Dr Dahlia Sataloff. I am overdue for my next appointment with the medical oncologist, Dr David Mintzer, which was supposed to be in January but I was away. I am calling today for an appointment soon. I also will see my radio-oncologist, Dr Marisa Weiss, early this summer. My cancer team consists of these 3 doctors. Luckily, I have a crackerjack team! Cannot say that I missed them while I was away though. But I come back, ready to deal refreshed and renewed.
Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind. ~Seneca
Beyond the Pink Moon Facebook Page started in 2011 is based on a memoir written by Nicki Boscia Durlester. It provides an active forum for people to share their breast cancer journeys, whether they are survivors or previvors. By telling your story you have the opportunity to save lives. I joined shortly after I had surgery. (My surgeon did not recommend testing for the BRCA gene) I do not write on it but do get email notifications from those who do. It provides support and information to women all over the world. I find it useful at times. This was one of the latest emails I received which I wanted to share with you.
Efrat Amir posted in Beyond the Pink Moon
Efrat Amir 8:27am Jan 6
Well I’m on my way home and thank G-D I’m ALIVE!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR3TGeY5JIs&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Love to all of you for all your prayers,love and unwavering support!!!
YouTube
http://www.youtube.com
Also, I recommend going to beyondthepinkmoon.com to hear an informative interview with Nicki and her daughter Ally about her family history and the BRCA gene. Nicki comes from a large Italian family of whose mom was one of 11 girls, 10 of whom got cancer!
They are committed to helping others through their experiences. Thanks so much to Nikki and her daughter Ally. There are over a thousand women on the Facebook site.
There is a saying I have been quoting lately on Facebook by Leonardo da Vinci- “Learn how to see. Realize that everything is connected to everything else.” I learned that lesson again yesterday.
During my radiation treatments, I did a series of mixed media prints called Bubbles of Optimism which I decided to give to some of the doctors I have worked so closely with this year. I hadn’t had time to drop off the one to Dr. Marisa Weiss, my radiation oncologist, until yesterday, December 31. I haven’t been back to Lankenau Hospital since I finished my radiation treatment. I drove up and as I turned into the driveway, I felt myself tense up and feel kind of weepy. I left the package with the secretary.
By the time I got into the garage, I was a wreck. I did hold it together until I got back into the car and then I fell apart. Where did all this emotion come from? Why was I so sad and crying??? I was on my way to coffee with a dear high school friend Susan who I haven’t seen for a while but who I know forever. In fact, she and I went on our first grand tour of Europe together in 1965!! We don’t see each other often enough but when we get together we can talk about everything and we do! Our coffee lasted for hours!
What I found out this time was that Susan had breast cancer three times. I only knew about the one major time- stage 3/4, not the other 2 which she kept secret. So we talked and talked about everything, this time including our cancers, not just books, movies and our kids. She was exactly the right person to meet after dropping off that present.
The end of the year, coffee with a dear friend, drop off a present….everything is related.
Bubbles of Optimism 1, 2, 3, mixed media by Linda Dubin Garfield
There is a saying I have been quoting lately on Facebook by Leonardo da Vinci- “Learn how to see. Realize that everything is connected to everything else.” I learned that lesson again yesterday.
During my radiation treatments, I did a series of mixed media prints called Bubbles of Optimism which I decided to give to some of the doctors I have worked so closely with this year. I hadn’t had time to drop off the one to Dr. Marisa Weiss, my radiation oncologist, until yesterday, December 31. I haven’t been back to Lankenau Hospital since I finished my radiation treatment. I drove up and as I turned into the driveway, I felt myself tense up and feel kind of weepy. I left the package with the secretary.
By the time I got into the garage, I was a wreck. I did hold it together until I got back into the car and then I fell apart. Where did all this emotion come from? Why was I so sad and crying??? I was on my way to coffee with a dear high school friend Susan who I haven’t seen for a while but who I know forever. In fact, she and I went on our first grand tour of Europe together in 1965!! We don’t see each other often enough but when we get together we can talk about everything and we do! Our coffee lasted for hours!
What I found out this time was that Susan had breast cancer three times. I only knew about the one major time- stage 3/4, not the other 2 which she kept secret. So we talked and talked about everything, this time including our cancers, not just books, movies and our kids. She was exactly the right person to meet after dropping off that present.
The end of the year, coffee with a dear friend, drop off a present….everything is related.
Bubbles of Optimism 1, 2, 3, mixed media by Linda Dubin Garfield
